Due to some recent, unexpected developments in my life since June, I have been quite anxious and uneasy lately. Although I like the current career field I am in, I am not in love with it and my passion lies in the creative world. Out of nowhere, an opportunity for me to switch professional teams presented itself. Sounds amazing, right? It was amazing, it is amazing… I just have ADHD butterflies “whoppin’ Rico” in my belly. Typically, especially when it comes to employment, nerves do not phase me. Going into an interview with the thoughts, “I’m just going to be myself. The worst they can say is ‘no’. They cannot blacklist me in the job market. They ain’t gon’ worry me none”, always helps me to do well. This is different, though, because I want this chance desperately – I need it. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I have the greatest outlook on life. There is no doubt in my mind that all of my dreams/goals will come to fruition and I will have all of my heart’s desires. However, that one percent of the time when nerves kick in and uncertainty clouds my spirit, is always a rough ride.
A couple of days before I was set to meet with the person whom I hoped would help make my creative dreams come true, I became insanely nervous. I was on my way back to NYC from a family vacation in Virginia, and during the entire bus ride back (yes, I said bus ride from VA to NYC), my hands were shaking, my heart was beating and my mind was racing with the speed of Jackie Joyner-Kersee. While schlepping my bags down the stairs into the train station constantly thinking of all the ways I could possibly screw up the impending interview, I quickly purchased a new MetroCard, did not bother to look at it, swiped it and boarded the F train.
Heading to work the next day, nerves still Harlem shaking about the upcoming meeting, I pulled out my MetroCard and flipped it over to make sure that it was indeed the new one and not the card from the previous month. For those of you unfamiliar with MTA MetroCards, on the backside of the cards, there is always a MTA factoid, warning, quote by a famous author/poet, or something written in Spanish. This is what my MetroCard says…
… a.k.a. send out positive, not nervous vibes and all will be well. Usually, when feelings of anxiety and self-doubt start to creep into my subconscious, I go back to the book, The Alchemist, and remind myself that “the universe conspires in your favor”. At that very moment – at this very moment, of all the cards in that machine, the universe placed this particular MetroCard in my hand at a time I need it most.
I went to the interview last week, ran through SoHo to get there on time (wearing a dress and in heels), arrived a hot, sweaty mess, and left a hot, sweaty mess. However, when I was finished and got ready to board the train, the above card was in my hand and those bold, black letters allowed my mind to rest and reminded me to put trust in my partnership with the universe.
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